He tau hogofulu tau gahoa kua mole, ko e tau matua ne moua e magaaho mitaki ke tutala fakamua ke he tama taane po ke tama fifine ha laua hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine. Ti maeke ai ke fakamaama fakahaga e tau mena ki a lautolu ke felauaki mo e tau tau moui mo e lotomatala he tama.

Kua hiki oti e tau mena ia mogonei. “Fitā e tau tama he mailoga e tau mahani fakataane mo e fifine he mogo ne ikiiki lalahi foki, ti kua tupu lahi ai he tau polokalama he tau fanau,” he talahau he tohi The Lolita Effect. Kua lagomatai kia po ke fakamamahi he mena tupu foou nei e tau fanau?

Kitia maaliali e tau mena ia. He tohi ha Deborah Roffman Talk to Me First, ne tohi e ia “ko e tau fakatutalaaga, tau mena ne fakatātā, tau kifaga, tau pepa, tau kupu lologo, tau polokalama TV, tohitohi he tau matini hila, tau pelē, tau lapa fakailoaaga, mo e tau selafoni mo e tau komopiuta kua putoia tumau e tau fakatino, tau kupu, mo e falu mahani fakataane mo e fifine ti manatu e [tau fuata mui, mo lautolu ne ikiiki hifo foki po ke tau fanau ikiiki], mo e liga hufia ki a lautolu kua . . . mua e aoga he mahani fakataane mo e fifine.”

Lalago foki he tau fakaaliali koloa. Ko e tau matakau fakaaliali koloa mo e fakafua koloa ne lafi e mahani fakataane mo e fifine ke he tau mena tui he tau fanau, ti fakaako a lautolu mai he vahā ikiiki ke hagaaki fakalahi ke he fulufuluola he tau foliga ha lautolu. “Iloa he tau fakafua koloa e nakaila lotomatala lahi he tau fanau ikiiki ti fakaaoga e lautolu e tuaga ia he tau fanau,” talahau he tohi So Sexy So Soon. “Ko e tau fakatino he mahani fakataane mo e fifine mo e tau koloa oti nei ne nakai taute pauaki ke fakaohooho e mahani feuaki ke he tau fanau “ka e fakaohooho ke fakatau.”

Nakai lahi e fakamaamaaga. Tuga ne kehekehe he iloa e puhala ne holo e motokā mo e maeke ke fakaholo fakalotomatala, ne kehekehe foki e iloa hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine mai he fakaaoga fakamitaki e iloaaga ia ke taute e tau fifiliaga aoga.

Ko e manatu uho: Ko e magaaho tonu nei kua lata a koe ke lagomatai e tau fanau ke feaki e “mahani he ako mua ai ke mailoga e tau mena mitaki mo e tau mena kelea.”​​—Heperu 5:14.

Tutala hagaao ki ai. Pete e liga uka, ko e tutala ke he tau fanau ha mutolu hagaao ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine ko e kotofaga ha mutolu. Kia talia ai.​​—Matapatu fakaakoaga he Tohi Tapu: Tau Fakatai 22:6.

Fakakūkū e tau fakatutalaaga. He nakai lagataha ni e tutala loagitu, fakaaoga e tau magaaho noa ke tutala, liga ko mua ni ne ō he motokā po ke taute he taha fekau. Ke lagomatai e tama haau ke tutala ki a koe, talahau e tau hūhū ke manamanatu a ia. Ma e fakatai, ua pehē, “Fiafia ka koe ke he tau fakatino fakaaliali pihia?” ka e maeke a koe ke pehē, “Ko e ha he manatu e koe ne fakaaoga he tau tagata fakafua koloa e tau fakatino ia ke sela aki e tau koloa?” Ka mole e talahau he tama haau e tali, liga hūhū a koe, “Fēfē e logonaaga haau ke he mena ia?”​​—Matapatu fakaakoaga he Tohi Tapu: Teutaronome 6:6, 7.

Fakamaama ke felauaki mo e tau tau moui. Tau tama ikiiki lalahi ne nakaila hokotia e tau tau ke ō he aoga ka maeke ke fakaako ki a lautolu e tau higoa hako he tau vala kakano ia, mo e puhala ke puipui a lautolu mai he tau tagata fakaohooho kelea ke he mahani feuaki. He lalahi hake e tau fanau kua maeke mogoia ke fakamaama age e fanafanau tama. Ka fuata mui, kua lata a lautolu ke fai maamaaga lahi ke he tupuaga he tino mo e tuaga hako he mahani fakataane mo e fifine.

Tutala age hagaao ke he tau mena ne uho. Kamata ke fakaako e tama haau tali mai he vahā tote hagaao ke he mahani fakamooli, mahani hakohako, mo e fakalilifu. Ti ka hoko ke fakatutala ke he mahani fakataane mo e fifine, kua fai mena a koe ke fakavē ki ai. Mo e talahau fakamaaliali foki e tau mena kua uho ki a koe. Ma e fakatai, ka onoono a koe kua nakai hako ke mahani fakataane mo e fifine ka e nakaila mau, tala age pihia. Ti fakamaama e kakano ne hepe mo e fakamamahi ai. “Ko e tau fuata mui ne iloa kua nakai talia he tau matua ha lautolu e tau fuata mui ke taute e mahani fakataane mo e fifine kua liga nakai taute ai e lautolu ia,” talahau he tohi Beyond the Big Talk.

Fakatoka e fakafifitakiaga. Moui fakatatau ke he tau mena uho ne fakaako e koe. Ma e fakatai, kata nakai a koe he tau vaiga kiva? tauteute fakataki? kalahī? Liga fakateaga he tau mahani pihia e tau mahani mitaki haau ne lali ke fakaako ke he tau fanau haau.​​—Matapatu fakaakoaga he Tohi Tapu: Roma 2:21.

Fakatumau ke atihake. Ko e mahani fakataane mo e fifine ko e mena fakaalofa mai he Atua mo e he tuaga kua latatonu ni i loto he fakamauaga, to eke ai mo punaaga he fiafia mooli. (Tau Fakatai 5:18, 19) Fakamaama ke he tama haau to hoko e magaaho ti maeke a ia ke fiafia foki ke he mena fakaalofa pihia, ti nakai mamahi e loto mo e tupetupe ha ko e mahani feuaki.​—1 Timoteo 1:18, 19.