Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

N’chifukwa Chiyani Anyamata Sandifunsira?

Mnyamatayu akudziwa kuti ndine wotchuka chifukwa ndinamuuza kuti anyamata enanso amandifuna. Iye anaseka nditamuuza kuti anzanga ena ndi ogona. Ndipo mnyamatayu akudziwa kuti ndine wanzeru chifukwa ndinamuwongolera pazinthu zingapo zimene ananena. Ndikukhulupirira kuti posachedwapa andifunsira.

Mtsikanayu ndi wokongola kwambiri, koma amaganiza moperewera. Samandipatsa mpata wolankhula. Ndipo ndikamalankhula, iye amakonda kundiwongolera. Ndimangofuna nditamuchokera.

KODI mumadandaula kuti anyamata sakufunsirani? Atsikana ambiri amadandaula, ngakhale amene mungaganize kuti alibe vuto limeneli. Mwachitsanzo, Joanne, yemwe ndi wooneka bwino, wanzeru ndiponso wodziwa kulankhula, ananena kuti: “Nthawi zambiri ndimaona kuti anyamata sandifuna. Panali anyamata angapo amene ndinkawafuna ndipo ankaoneka kuti akopeka nane koma pasanapite nthawi anasiyiratu kucheza nane.”

Kodi anyamata amakopeka ndi chiyani pa mtsikana? Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene sasangalala nazo? Popanda kuchita zinthu zimene zingakuchotsereni ulemu, kodi mungatani kuti mnyamata wabwino ayambe kukukondani?

Zimene Muyenera Kuchita

● Dziwani zolinga zanu. Muyenera kuti munayamba kukopeka kwambiri ndi anyamata mutangotha msinkhu ndipo mwina munkakopeka ndi anyamata ambiri. Zimenezi zimachitikira anthu ambiri. Koma ngati maganizo anu onse amangokhala pa mnyamata amene anakusangalatsani koyamba, dziwani kuti mungalephere kupita patsogolo pa zinthu zauzimu komanso mungasokonezeke maganizo. Zimatenga nthawi kuti munthu akhwime maganizo n’kuyamba kumasankha zinthu mwanzeru ndiponso kuti akwanitse zimene akufuna kuchita pamoyo wake.—Aroma 12:2; 1 Akorinto 7:36; Akolose 3:9, 10.

 N’zoona kuti anyamata ambiri amakopeka ndi atsikana amene alibe zolinga zenizeni pamoyo wawo komanso amene amangololera zilizonse. Komabe, anyamata oterewa amakhala kuti akopeka kwambiri ndi maonekedwe, osati khalidwe lanu. Choti mudziwe n’chakuti mnyamata wanzeru amafuna mtsikana wamakhalidwe abwino yemwe angagwirizane naye.—Mateyo 19:6.

Zimene anyamata amanena: “Ndimakopeka ndi mtsikana amene amamasuka kunena zakukhosi kwake ndipo samadzikayikira.”—James.

“Ndingakopeke ndi mtsikana amene amanena zinthu moona mtima, mwaulemu ndiponso amene samangovomereza zilizonse zimene ndikunena. Koma ngakhale mtsikana akhale wooneka bwino, sindingasangalale ngati amangonena zinthu zongofuna kundisangalatsa. Mtsikana wotere amandikayikitsa.”—Darren.

“N’zoona kuti ndikangoona mtsikana wokongola, ndimakopeka naye. Koma ndimasintha maganizo ndikangodziwa kuti mtsikanayo alibe zolinga zenizeni. Koma mtsikana amene ali zolinga pa moyo wake ndipo wayamba kale kuzikwaniritsa, amandisangalatsa kwambiri.”—Damien.

● Muzilemekeza ena. Inu monga mtsikana mumafuna kukondedwa, ndipo anyamata amafuna kulemekezedwa. N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limauza mwamuna kuti ayenera kukonda mkazi wake koma mkazi ayenera kukhala ndi “ulemu waukulu” kwa mwamuna wake. (Aefeso 5:33) Mogwirizana ndi malangizo anzeru amenewa, anyamata ena ambirimbiri atafunsidwa, 60 pa 100 aliwonse ananena kuti amasangalala kupatsidwa ulemu kuposa kukondedwa. Ndipo atafunsa achikulire, 70 pa 100 aliwonse ananena kuti nawonso amasangalala kupatsidwa ulemu kuposa kukondedwa.

Ulemu sutanthauza kuti muzingovomereza zilizonse. (Genesis 21:10-12) Koma mmene mumafotokozera maganizo anu zingapangitse mnyamata kukukondani kapena ayi. Ngati mumangotsutsa kapena kuwongolera chilichonse chimene akunena, angaone kuti simukumulemekeza. Koma ngati muvomereza malingaliro ake ndi kumuyamikira pa zimene mukuona kuti wachita bwino, nayenso adzavomereza maganizo anu. Ndipo mnyamata wozindikira amaonanso ngati mumalemekeza abale anu komanso anthu ena. *

Zimene anyamata amanena: “Anyamata ambiri amafuna kuti anthu ena, makamaka mtsikana amene akumufuna, aziona kuti zimene iwo akunena n’zofunika.”—Anthony.

“Ndimaona kuti ulemu ndi wofunika kwambiri chibwenzi chikamayamba. Chikondi chimabwera chokha pambuyo pake.”—Adrian.

“Mtsikana akamandilemekeza ndimaona kuti akhozanso kundikonda.”—Mark.

● Muzidzisamalira ndiponso muzivala modzilemekeza. Kavalidwe ndiponso maonekedwe anu zimafotokoza zambiri zokhudza zimene mumaganiza ndiponso khalidwe lanu. Musanayambe kulankhula ndi mnyamata, iye amakhala atadziwa kale kuti ndinu wotani chifukwa cha zimene mwavala. Ngati mwavala modzilemekeza, mumasonyeza kuti ndinu munthu wamakhalidwe abwino. (1 Timoteyo 2:9) Ndipo ngati mwavala mosadzilemekeza, anyamata amaona kuti ndinu munthu wopanda khalidwe, choncho sangakopeke nanu.

Zimene anyamata amanena: “Mavalidwe a mtsikana amasonyeza khalidwe lake. Akavala  zovala zosayenera ndimaona kuti akufunafuna winawake kuti amukope.”—Adrian.

“Ndimakopeka ndi mtsikana amene amasamalira tsitsi lake, amene amamveka kafungo kabwino ndiponso wa timawu tosangalatsa. Koma sindikopeka ndi mtsikana wokongola amene sadzisamalira.”—Ryan.

“Ndimakopeka kwambiri ndi mtsikana amene sakonda kudzikongoletsa mopambanitsa ndiponso amene savala zovala zothina kapena zoonekera.”—Ethan.

“Ngati mtsikana wavala mosadzilemekeza, munthu ukhoza kukopeka naye ndithu. Koma ine sindingafunsire mtsikana wotero.”—Nicholas.

Zimene Simuyenera Kuchita

● Musamakope anyamata. Akazi amakhala ndi chikoka chokopa amuna. Ndipo chikoka chimenechi chikhoza kugwiritsidwa ntchito moyenera komanso molakwika. (Genesis 29:17, 18; Miyambo 7:6-23) Ngati inuyo mumakopa mnyamata aliyense amene mwakumana naye, mukhoza kukhala ndi mbiri yoipa.

Zimene anyamata amanena: “Mnyamata amasangalala kwambiri akakhala moyandikana ndi mtsikana wokongola n’kugundana m’mapewa. Choncho, ndimaona kuti mtsikana amene amakonda kukugwiragwira mukamacheza, ndiye kuti akufuna akukope.”—Nicholas.

“Ngati mtsikana amangokhalira kugwirana manja ndi mnyamata aliyense amene wakumana naye ndiponso kuyang’anitsitsa mwamuna aliyense amene wadutsa, ndimaona kuti ndi wokopa amuna ndipo sindimusirira.”—José.

“Ndinganene kuti mtsikana ndi wokopa amuna ngati amangogwirana ndi mnyamata aliyense amene wakumana naye ndipo kenako n’kutengeka maganizo ndi mnyamata amene wamusonyeza chidwi kwambiri.”—Ethan.

● Musamakakamire mnyamata. Baibulo limanena kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi akakwatirana amakhala “thupi limodzi.” (Genesis 2:24) Panthawi imeneyi, onse amasiya kuchita zinthu zina zomwe ankakonda kuchita asanakwatirane, ndipo amakhala odzipereka kwa wina ndi mnzake. (1 Akorinto 7:32-34) Koma ngati mwangoyamba kumene kudziwana ndi mnyamata, mulibe ufulu woletsana kuchita zimene aliyense wa inu amakonda. Dziwani kuti ngati mutachita zinthu mopupuluma, mungawononge ubwenzi wanu. *

Zimene anyamata amanena: “Ndimaona kuti mtsikana akundikakamira ngati amafuna kudziwa chilichonse chimene ndikuchita komanso ngati akuoneka kuti sangathe kucheza ndi anthu ena kupatulapo ineyo.”—Darren.

“Ngati mtsikana amene ndangodziwana naye kumene amangokhalira kunditumizira mauthenga pa foni ndiponso nthawi zonse amafuna kudziwa kuti ndili ndi ndani, makamaka ngati pagululo pali atsikana, ndimaona kuti ndi wansanje ndiponso wosayenera kupitiriza kucheza naye.”—Ryan.

“Mtsikana amene safuna kuti uzicheza ndi anyamata anzako ndiponso amakwiya ngati nthawi zina sumuitana kochezako, ndimaona kuti ndi wokakamira.”—Adrian.

Muzidzilemekeza

Muyenera kuti mukudziwa atsikana ena amene amachita chilichonse kuti akope mnyamata. Ena amafika pochita zinthu motayirira n’cholinga choti apeze chibwenzi kapena mwamuna wokwatirana naye. Komabe mfundo yakuti ‘umakolola chimene wafesa,’ imagwiranso ntchito pa nkhani imeneyi. (Agalatiya 6:7-9) Ngati simudzilemekeza ndiponso mumachita zinthu motayirira, n’zosavuta kuti mukhale pachibwenzi ndi mnyamata amene sangakulemekezeni komanso amene sangaone kufunika kwa mfundo zimene mumatsatira.

Dziwani kuti si anyamata onse amene angakufuneni ndipo zimenezi zili ndi ubwino wake. Koma ngati mumayesetsa kudzisamalira kuti muzioneka bwino komanso mumayesetsa kusonyeza makhalidwe abwino, mudzakhala “wamtengo wapatali m’maso mwa Mulungu,” ndiponso mudzapeza mnyamata woyenerera.—1 Petulo 3:4.

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[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

● Kodi mungasonyeze bwanji kuti mumalemekeza mnyamata?

● Kodi mungasonyeze bwanji kuti mumadzilemekeza?

[Chithunzi patsamba 27]

Chikondi ndi ulemu zili ngati matayala a njinga, zonse ndi zofunika kwambiri