Ngakhale kuyambira adakali wamng’ono, mwana wanu akhoza kuona kuti anthu ena amakondera kapena kusala anzawo potengera maonekedwe a khungu lawo kapenanso kochokera. Kodi mungathandize bwanji mwana wanu kupewa mtima watsankho chifukwa chosiyana mtundu kapena pa zifukwa zina? Nanga mungamuthandize bwanji ngati anthu ena amamusala chifukwa cha mtundu wake?

Zimene zili munkhaniyi

•  Mmene mungauzire mwana wanu za anthu a mitundu ina

•  Mmene mungauzire mwana wanu za kuipa kosankhana mitundu

•  Zimene mungachite kuti mukhale chitsanzo

•  Ngati mwana wanu amasalidwa chifukwa cha mtundu wake

 Zimene mungamuuze. Padziko lonse lapansi pali anthu amitundu, maonekedwe komanso zikhalidwe zosiyanasiyana. Chifukwa cha kusiyana kumeneku, anthu ena amachitira nkhanza anzawo potengera maonekedwe awo kapena mmene amachitira zinthu.

 Komabe, Baibulo limaphunzitsa kuti anthu onse anachokera ku banja limodzi. M’mawu ena tinganene kuti tonsefe ndife pachibale.

 “Tinaona kuti ana athu akamacheza ndi anthu a mitundu ina, amatha kuona okha kuti munthu aliyense ndi woyenera kumukonda ndi kumulemekeza.”—Karen.

 Pasanapite nthawi yaitali, mwana wanu adzamva nkhani zokhudza zinthu zankhanza komanso zachidani zomwe anthu amachitirana chifukwa chosiyana mitundu. Kodi mungamufotokozere bwanji zimene zikuchitikazo? Zimenezi zingadalire msinkhu wake.

•   Ana osapitirira zaka 5. Dr. Allison Briscoe-Smith ananena m’magazini ina kuti: “Ana aang’ono amadziwa bwino ngati pakuchitika chilungamo kapena ayi.” Iye ananenanso kuti: “Zimenezi zingakupatseni mwayi woyamba kukambirana ndi mwana wanu nkhani zokhudza zinthu zopanda chilungamo.”—Parents.

•   Ana azaka zosapitirira 12. Ana azaka zapakati pa 6 ndi 12 amachita chidwi ndi zinthu, ndipo nthawi zina amafunsa mafunso ovuta. Yesetsani kuwayankha mmene mungathere. Lankhulani ndi mwana wanu zimene amaona kapena kumva kusukulu, pawailesi, pa TV kapenanso pa intaneti ndipo pezeranipo mwayi womufotokozera za kuipa kosankhana mitundu.

•   Ana azaka zoyambira 13 mpaka 19. Pamsinkhu umenewu ndi pamene munthu amayamba kumvetsa bwino nkhani zikuluzikulu. Choncho ngati mwana wanu ndi wazaka zapakati pa 13 ndi 19, imeneyi ndi nthawi yabwino kwambiri yoti muzikambirana naye nkhani zomwe mwamva pawailesi kapena pa TV zokhudza kusankhana mitundu.

 “Timauza ana athu za kuipa kosankhana mitundu chifukwa timadziwa kuti nthawi ina kaya adzakhala ali kuti koma adzakumana nazo ndithu. Ngati sitingawaphunzitse zimenezi kunyumba, kudzakhala kosavuta kuti atengere maganizo olakwika a anthu ena omwe amakumana nawo kusukulu ndi m’malo ena. Anthu ena akhoza kuuza ana athu zinthu zambiri zolakwika ngati kuti ndi zoona.”—Tanya.

 Ana amaphunzira poona zochita zathu, choncho ndi bwino kuti monga makolo, muzisamala ndi zimene mumachita komanso kulankhula. Mwachitsanzo:

•   Kodi mumalankhula nthabwala zonyoza anthu a mitundu ina kapena kuwaona ngati otsika? Bungwe lina loona za kaganizidwe ka ana linanena kuti: “Ana anu amaona komanso kumva zimene mumalankhula ndipo amatengera zomwezo.”—American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.

•   Kodi mumakonda kucheza ndi anthu a m’mayiko ena? Dokotala wina woona za matenda a ana, dzina lake Alanna Nzoma anati: “Ngati mumafuna kuti ana anu . . . azikhala bwino ndi anthu azikhalidwe zina, azikuonani mukuchita zomwezo.”

 “Kwa zaka zambiri, banja lathu lakhala likulandira alendo ochokera m’mayiko osiyanasiyana. Ndipo tinayamba kukonda zakudya zawo, nyimbo zawo ngakhalenso kuvala zovala zachikhalidwe chawo. Tikamakambirana ndi ana athu zokhudza anthu ena, sitikonda kulankhula zokhudza mtundu wawo. Komanso timapewa kulankhula zotamanda chikhalidwe chathu.”—Katarina.

 Ngakhale kuti anthu amakamba kwambiri zoti anthufe ndife ofanana, nkhani zokhudza kusankhana mitundu zili paliponse. Izi zikusonyeza kuti mwana wanu akhoza kuchitiridwa zinthu zopanda chilungamo, makamaka ngati anthu amamuona kuti ali m’gulu la anthu ena ake omwe amaonedwa kuti ndi otsika. Ngati zimenezo zitachitika . . .

 Dziwani zenizeni zomwe zachitika. Kodi munthuyo anachitira dala kapena kunangokhala kulankhula mosaganiza bwino? (Yakobo 3:2) Kodi munthu amene wamuchitira zolakwikazo ndi wofunika kukamunenera kapena nkhaniyo ndi yongofunika kuinyalanyaza?

 Kuganiza bwino ndi kofunika. Baibulo limapereka malangizo anzeru akuti: “Musafulumire kukwiya.” (Mlaliki 7:9) Nkhani yosankhana mitundu si yofunika kuitenga mopepuka. Komabe, zimenezi sizikutanthauza kuti nthawi iliyonse imene munthu wina wakuchitirani zopanda chilungamo ndiye kuti basi amadana ndi mtundu wanu.

 Ndi zoona kuti zochitika zimakhala zosiyanasiyana, choncho ndi bwino kudziwa zenizeni zomwe zachitika musanasankhe zochita.

 Mukadziwa zenizeni zokhudza nkhaniyo, dzifunseni kuti:

•   ‘Kodi pali phindu lililonse lomwe mwana wanga angapeze ngati atamaganiza kuti munthu aliyense amene wamuchitira zolakwika, wachita zimenezo chifukwa chodana ndi mtundu wake?’

•   ‘Kodi mwana wanga zingamuthandize ngati atamatsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo akuti: “Usamaganizire kwambiri mawu onse amene anthu amalankhula”?’—Mlaliki 7:21.

 Bwanji ngati zikuoneka kuti wolakwayo anachitira dala? Thandizani mwana wanu kudziwa kuti zinthu zikhoza kukhala bwino kapena kuipa kwambiri kuposa pamenepa malinga ndi zimene iye angachite. Nthawi zina munthu amene amazunza, kuvutitsa kapena kunyoza anzake amangofuna kuti anzakewo akwiye nazo n’kumubwezera. Zikakhala choncho, chinthu chanzeru chomwe mungachite, n’kusabwezera.

 Ngati si zoopsa kwenikweni, mwana wanu akhoza kungolankhula ndi munthu amene wamulakwirayo. Mwina mwana wanu anganene kuti (mokoma mtima), “ndikuona kuti sunandilankhule bwino kapena sunandichitire zinthu mokoma mtima.”

 Nanga bwanji ngati mukufuna kukauza ena zimene zachitikazo? Ngati mukuona kuti moyo wa mwana wanu ukhoza kukhala pangozi kapena ngati pa zifukwa zina nkhaniyi siyofunika kungoinyalanyaza, kauzeni akuluakulu a pasukulupo kapenanso apolisi ngati pakufunika kutero.