Kodi munadwalapo? Mwina munapola msanga, cakuti munaiŵala nthawi imene munadwala. Koma cisoni n’cosiyana kwambili ndi zimenezi. M’buku lake lakuti Healing a Spouse’s Grieving Heart, Alan D.Wolfelt, mlangizi wa anthu amene akuvutika ndi cisoni analemba kuti: “Cisoni ‘sicipola’ mmene munthu angapolele akadwala.” Komabe, iye anawonjezela kuti: “Mothandizidwa ndi anthu ena, cisoni cimayamba kucepa pang’onopang’ono.”

Mwacitsanzo, ganizilani mmene Abulahamu anamvelela pamene mkazi wake anamwalila. Baibulo limati: “Abulahamu analoŵa muhema kukamulila Sara.” Mau akuti “kukamulila” aonetsa kuti cinamutengela nthawi yaitali kuti apilile imfa ya mkazi wake. * Citsanzo cina ndi ca Yakobo, amene ananamizidwa kuti mwana wake Yosefe waphedwa ndi cilombo ca kuchile. Yakobo analila mwana wake kwa “masiku ambili,” ndipo anali kukana kutonthozedwa ndi anthu a m’banja lake. Ngakhale panali patapita zaka zambili, iye anali kukumbukilabe imfa ya Yosefe.—Genesis 23:2; 37:34, 35; 42:36; 45:28.

N’cimodzimodzi masiku ano. Anthu ambili amalila munthu amene amamukonda akamwalila. Onani zitsanzo ziŵili zotsatilizi.

• “Mwamuna wanga Robert anamwalila pa July 9, 2008. Tsiku limene iye anamwalila pa ngozi, linali lofanana ndi masiku onse. Titadya cakudya ca m’maŵa, mwacizoloŵezi tinapsompsonana, tinakumbatilana ndipo tinauzana mau akuti ‘Ndimakukonda,’ kenako iye anapita ku nchito. Ngakhale papita zaka 6, ndimamvabe cisoni mumtima mwanga. Sindidziŵa ngati imfa ya Rob ndidzaiiŵala.”—Gail, wazaka 60.

• Papita zaka 18 kucokela pamene mkazi wanga anamwalila, koma ndimamuyewabe ndipo ndimamvabe cisoni. Ndikaona cinthu cocititsa cidwi m’cilengedwe, ndimakumbukila mkazi wanga ndipo ndimaganizila mmene iye akanasangalalila kuona zinthu zimene ineyo ndikuona.”—Etienne, wazaka 84.

Kukamba zoona, n’kwacibadwa kumva ululu ndi cisoni. Aliyense amalila m’njila zosiyanasiyana, ndipo kungakhale kupanda nzelu kuweluza munthu kaamba ka mmene akulilila cifukwa ca mavuto. Komanso panthawi imodzimodzi, tisamadziimbe mlandu tikakhala ndi cisoni cimene sicikutha. Kodi tingapilile bwanji cisoni?