Uhleli nje ucingana nezinto ezimbi ezithethwe nezenziwe liqabane lakho. Amazwi alo ahlabayo ahlala enkenteza engqondweni. Ngenxa yoko uthando enanikade ninalo luthathelw’ indawo yinzondo. Kubonakala ukuba akukho nto unokuyenza ngaphandle kokunyamezela umtshato ongenaluthando. Nale ikwenza ulizonde iqabane lakho.

Qiniseka ukuba izinto zinokuba ngcono. Kodwa ke, khawuqale uhlolisise iinkalo ezimbalwa ngenzondo.

Inzondo inokuwuphelisa umtshato. Kutheni sisitsho nje? Kungenxa yokuba ikhabana nazo zonke iimpawu umtshato owakhelwa phezu kwazo, kuquka uthando, ukuthembana nokunyaniseka. Ngaloo ndlela inzondo ayingonobangela wengxaki yomtshato; iyingxaki yomtshato yona kuqala. Kungenxa yoko le nto iBhayibhile isithi: “Mabususwe kuni bonke ubukrakra bolunya.”—Efese 4:31.

Ukuba ufukama inzondo, uyazenzakalisa. Kufana nokuzibetha ngenyhek’ etyeni uze ulindele ukuba ibe ngomnye umntu ova intlungu. Kwincwadi yakhe ethi Healing From Family Rifts, uMark Sichel uthi: “Lo mntu umfukamele inzondo usenokuba akabethelwa nangu-do. Lilonke, inzondo yenzakalisa wena ngaphezulu lee kunalo mntu umzondayo.”

Uyazikhethela ukuba nenzondo. Abanye abantu basenokuyithandabuza loo nto. Basenokuthi, ‘Liqabane lam elindenza ndibe nenzondo.’ Kodwa ke, xa ingxaki uyikhomba komnye umntu, wenza kube nzima ukuyilungisa. IBhayibhile inaso isicombululo. Ithi: “Ngamnye makangqine oko ukuko umsebenzi wakhe.” (Galati 6:4) Akukho nto sinokuyenza ngendlela omnye umntu athetha okanye enza ngayo izinto, kodwa sinokukhetha indlela esisabela ngayo. Awunyanzelekanga ukuba ude ufukam’ inzondo.

Zama ukuyilwa. Siyavuma ukuba kulula ukukhomb’ umnwe kwiqabane lakho. Kodwa khumbula, uyazikhethela ukuba nenzondo. Kukwanjalo nangokuxolela. Usenokukhetha ukusebenzisa icebiso leBhayibhile elithi: “Malingatshoni ilanga nicaphukile.” (Efese 4:26) Ukuziqhelis’ ukuxolela kwenza kube lula ukucombulul’ iingxaki emtshatweni wakho.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Kolose 3:13.

Khawuzifune. IBhayibhile iyavuma ukuba abanye abantu ‘batyekele emsindweni.’ (IMizekeliso 29:22) Ngaba unjalo nawe? Zibuze: ‘Ngaba ndingumntu onengcwangu? Ngaba ndiyakhawuleza ukuba nomsindo? Ngaba ndicatshukiswa nazizinto ezingenamsebenzi?’ IBhayibhile ithi: “Oqhubeka ethetha ngombandela wahlukanisa abazanayo.” (IMizekeliso 17:9; INtshumayeli 7:9) Oko kunokwenzeka nasemtshatweni. Ngoko ukuba ungumnt’ okhawulezayo ukuba nenzondo, khawuzibuze, ‘Ngaba ndingazama ukuhlis’ umoya ndize ndingacaphuki msinyane?’—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: 1 Petros 4:8.

Cinga ngeyona nto ibalulekileyo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Kukho ixesha lokuthi cwaka nexesha lokuthetha.” (INtshumayeli 3:7) Akuyomfuneko ukuthetha ngento nganye ekucaphukisayo; maxa wambi unokusuka nje ‘uthethe entliziyweni yakho, emandlalweni wakho.’ (INdumiso 4:4) Xa kufuneka uthethile, linda wehle umsindo. Inkosikazi egama linguBeatriz ithi: “Xa ndicaphukile, ndiqala ngokwehlis’ umoya. Maxa wambi ndiye ndibone ukuba nale nto indicaphukisileyo ibingeyonto ingako. Oko kuye kundincede ndithethe ngentlonelo.”—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 19:11.

Qonda oko kuthethwa ‘kukuxolela.’ EBhayibhileni igama “ukuxolela” lidla ngokuguqulelwa ngokusuka kwigama lamandulo elithetha ukuyiyeka into. Ngoko ke, ukuxolela akuthethi kuthi yenza ngathi le nto ikucaphukisileyo ayinamsebenzi okanye khange yenzeke. Kunoko kuthetha ukuthi uyiyeka ngokupheleleyo, uqonda ukuba eyona nto inokuqhawula umtshato wakho, yonakalise nempilo yakho, yinzondo ngaphezu kwale nto ikucaphukisileyo.