•   Uthanda ukwenza izinto ebeningathethanga ngazo ukuba niza kuzenza; umntu otshate naye uthanda ukwenza izinto ebenigqibe ngazo.

•   Ungumntu othuleyo; yena umntu otshate naye ungumntu ondwebileyo, othandayo ukuba phakathi kwabanye abantu.

 Ngaba umntu otshate naye uneempawu ongazithandiyo? Ukusoloko uthetha ngazo kungamosha umtshato wakho. IBhayibhile ithi: “Osoloko ekhalaza wohlukanisa abahlobo abasenyongweni.”—IMizekeliso 17:9.

 Endaweni yokuvumela ezi mpawu ungazithandiyo kumntu otshate naye zinixabanise, mhlawumbi kungakunceda ukuzijonga ngendlela ebhetele.

Kweli nqaku

•  Indlela ebhetele yokujonga iimpawu ongazithandiyo

•  Into ethethwa ngabantu abatshatileyo

•  Into eninokuthetha ngayo

 Iimpawu ongazithandiyo emntwini otshate naye, zisenokudibana neempawu ezithile ozithandayo kuye. Jonga le mizekelo mithathu:

 “Umyeni wam ngumntu olibazisayo xa esenza izinto, okanye olibazisayo xa elungiselela ukuba siye endaweni. Kodwa oluphawu lumenza abe nomonde nalapha kum. Ngamanye amaxesha ukulibazisa kwakhe yinto endicaphukisayo kodwa ndiphinda ndiyithande loo nto ngaye.”—UChelsea.

 “Umfazi wam uyathanda ukulungiselela izinto kwangaphambili; ibe ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuba yonke into ihamba kakuhle, loo nto iyadika. Kwelinye icala, indlela azilungiselela kakuhle ngayo izinto yenza zonke izinto zisoloko zihamba kakuhle.”—UChristopher.

 “Umyenam usoloko ezibona izinto ngendlela eyahlukileyo kweyam, ibe loo nto iyandicaphukisa. Kodwa indlela anomonde ngayo lolunye uphawu olwandenza ndamthanda kwasekuqaleni. Ndithanda indlela azola ngayo xa kukho izinto ezisenza sibe nestres.”—UDanielle.

 Njengokuba uChelsea, uChristopher, noDanielle bebonile, uphawu analo umntu otshate naye lusenokumenza azenze kakuhle ezinye izinto, kanti ezinye angazenzi kakuhle. Kuba zombini ezo zinto zibangelwa luphawu olunye, awunakukwazi ukumyekisa ezo zinto angazenzi kakuhle ngenxa yolo phawu analo ngaphandle kokuba umyekisa nezo azenza kakuhle, njengokuba ungenakukwazi ukuyilahla imali kuba kukho icala elinye layo ongalithandiyo.

 Ewe kona ezinye iimpawu azinazo izinto eziye zithandeke ngazo. Ngokomzekelo, iBhayibhile iyatsho ukuba abanye abantu ‘bafane bacaphuke.’ (IMizekeliso 29:22) Xa kunjalo, umntu umele azimisele ukususa “yonke inkohlakalo, umsindo, ukucaphuka, ukungxolisana, ukuthetha amazwi ahlabayo.” a—Efese 4:31.

 Kodwa xa kukho iimpawu ongazithandiyo, ungalandela icebiso leBhayibhile elithi: “Qhubekani ninyamezelana . . . nokuba omnye unesizathu sokukhalazela omnye.”—Kolose 3:13.

 Enye into, zama ukukhangela izinto ezakwenza wamthanda lo mntu utshate naye kwasekuqaleni. Umyeni onguJoseph uthi, “Ukujonga iimpawu ezimbi kumntu otshate naye kufana nokujonga indlela idayimane engenzwanga kakuhle ngayo kunokuba ujonge indlela entle ngayo.”

 Okokuqala, mntu ngamnye angajonga lemibuzo ilandelayo, nize nithethe ngeempendulo zayo nobabini.

•   Ngaba umntu otshate naye uneempawu ongazithandiyo ezenza nixabane emtshatweni wenu? Ukuba zikhona, zeziphi ezo mpawu?

•   Ngaba oluphawu lubi nyhani, okanye luyakucaphukisa?

•   Ngaba ikhona into entle koluphawu analo? ukuba ikhona, yintoni ibe kutheni uyixabisa?